Collateral Beauty
Carrie Rhodes finds ways to live in the moment as she struggles with cancer diagnosis
This article is brought to you by Freedom Financial.
Collateral beauty is the idea that no matter how dark or difficult the time, there is something beautiful happening right then and there. Carrie Hendrix Rhodes, a long-time resident of Kokomo, is an American hero. She has served her country honorably in the Navy and focused her career on children as a pediatric nurse.
Rhodes is a part of the Hendrix family that has left a significant legacy within the game of basketball. She is very much a part of that legacy. A 2002 graduate of Kokomo High school, Rhodes played for Hall of Fame coach Charlie Hall and was a part of a team that laid the foundation for the undefeated state champion team that would follow the next season in 2003.
In college, Rhodes attended Purdue University where she obtained a bachelor’s degree in nursing, and then went on to pursue and complete her graduate degree as a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner. After college, Rhodes joined the Navy for a time before returning home to work, live, and have a family.
There is a recurring melody with Rhodes, one of tenacity and courage, and the will to fight and be successful no matter how difficult the feat or daunting the task. Her family, consisting of mighty and spirited athletes, has played a significant role in her development. It certainly was useful to Rhodes, and boy, she sure does she have a story to tell.
Rhodes has stage 4 cancer. That diagnosis has been her reality for the last couple of years. However, she is not allowing her unfortunate prognosis to define her, nor is it a sentence confining her to a life of solitude and sadness. She very much lives and speaks life into everything, every day.
“Legacy, what mark do I want to leave on this world?” Rhodes asked. It is a profound question that she asks herself every day. She mentioned the impact her wife has made on keeping her focused on the here and the now.
“I try to stay in today,” said Rhodes. “My wife is really good about, if I think too far ahead or get anxious or I’m worrying about things that haven’t happened yet, she’s good about keeping me grounded and living today, for today.”
One of the toughest moments of Rhodes’ life was when her mother, Janice Hendrix, was sick with a rare form of cancer. Diagnosed in March 2014, Hendrix passed away in early January 2015. Considering the many examples that have been in place in Rhodes’ life, her mother was at the forefront, as powerful and meaningful in her actions and words as it gets.
Rhodes stated that the entire time her mother lived with cancer, “she never once planned her death, never talked about it. Didn’t go get a will or say this is what I want at my funeral. She would always say, ‘I’m too busy living to think about dying.’”
That is something Rhodes often remembers and plays in her mind when times get tough. There are times when people say things that simply emerge from the supernatural. Perhaps there is no way someone dealing with something so tragic could think in that manner, yet Rhodes would hear her mother say as a faithful believer through her battle with cancer, “There is good on the other side of cancer. Either I’m going to be a testament of God’s healing power, or I’m going to be in Heaven with my Savior.”
Those words are evidence of Rhodes’ faith amid such tragic circumstances. How should someone carry and conduct themselves? One never knows who may be watching or how in one’s own battles they can be a living, breathing illustration of how others can make it through their own struggles.
In late 2020, Rhodes struggled with a difficult pregnancy. In November of that year, she had a baby boy, Noah, who passed away the next day due to complications. Naturally, after her period of grief and time to process, Rhodes and her wife made a choice to not live in anger, bitterness, or sadness.
“My wife and I made a promise to him that we would try to find a piece of joy in every day,” said Rhodes. In early 2022, she and her wife had a beautiful little girl, Quinn.
Rhodes spoke of the stigma of mental health, and she couldn’t stress enough the importance of allowing a trained professional therapist to listen and guide people through their emotional trauma. Her advocacy for mental health is prevalent, as she knows how life-changing it can be for someone to seek help.
Through all of it -- the trauma she has been through in her life, the pain and agony of losing her mother, the loss of her son, living with the reality of her own cancer and coming to terms with her own mortality -- Rhodes has made it plain that she is not going to give into the fears of the world. This is her collateral beauty.
“There is this trauma happening, but all the sudden each day is more precious, each interaction is sweeter, each hug is more meaningful, more heartfelt,” said Rhodes. “I’ve learned mindfulness. I think we get so busy in the day-to-day we forget to be present in the moment.”
The legacy of Carrie Rhodes is certainly one of strength, courage, and kindness. Tying her legacy to her family’s in basketball, Rhodes has been helping the Lady Western Panthers as an assistant coach. As she has found it to be over the years, basketball is a place of solace for her.
She pours into the young ladies on the basketball team, and there are times when she has a tearful moment, understanding that the time she gets to share on the court with the girls, she may not get to have with her own child. But as the great game of basketball has proven many times, often statistics don’t tell the true story of the heart and perseverance of a man or woman; the sheer drive and determination to fight on and live.
So, Rhodes is very hopeful her life allows her to see a day that she isn’t supposed to see. Rhodes’ message to the world is the importance of treating others with kindness.
“Hope is huge!” she said. “Even the smallest things, you truly have no idea what other people’s struggles are. Whether it’s opening the door for someone or giving someone a smile. Slow down, you don’t know that person’s story. Just treat humans with kindness, the world needs more of that.”