Doing the Dream 2024: ‘Pull Them in Closer’
Dr. Monique Couvson calls for love, not punishment, in education
This article is brought to you by Silver Birch Living of Kokomo. An independent life with a supportive hand. A different kind of affordable assisted living community. Silver Birch of Kokomo offers a full spectrum of personalized services to help older adults maintain their independence in a supportive, caring environment. For more information, visit Silver Birch of Kokomo online.
Dr. Monique Couvson, a celebrated and accomplished educator, author, and social activist, was the featured speaker at Ivy Tech Community College’s annual “Doing the Dream” banquet on Jan. 25. She spoke eloquently and at length about tempering institutional power with love and pulling young people close when trauma affects their lives.
But it was the words of a young black schoolgirl from Boston, shared by Couvson, that underlined the problem.
“I just feel like teachers don't ever ask what's wrong. They just get mad and think I'm trying to be disrespectful. Sometimes I'm going through stuff, but they don't care.”
Couvson, speaking to a full house at Ivy Tech Kokomo’s Hingst Hall, contended that young people, particularly of color, are seen and treated more as adults by society. They receive less nurturing, protection, and comfort in service to maintaining a stereotype about their identities. That, she said, leads people to look at these young people as a risk or threat to their safety.
“(We) look at the traumas that our young people experience and don’t respond with care, but rather with punishment and abuse,” said Couvson. “That is power that is reckless. We know these are young people placed in conditions of harm. We know we have a responsibility to respond to them by providing all of the care, particularly in our educational spaces, and with a maximum opportunity to learn.”
Education is a key component in breaking the cycle of funneling these young people into the criminal justice system, Couvson said. Her work as an educator and advocate is focused on this, particularly when it comes to black girls.
As a mother of two black girls and having been a black girl herself, Couvson knows risks of physical, sexual, and emotional violence the girls face. She is aware of the disruption and harm that is present in their daily lives. Education delivered her from those dangers.
“The one thing I had that they didn't have was my education,” said Couvson. “It gave me a particular set of tools, and I was able to negotiate life very differently than they did. Girls who have access to an education are significantly less likely to be in contact with the juvenile court. Education becomes a protective factor against future contact with the criminal legal system.
“If we know that, our goal should be to keep girls in school. That will keep them free. Our work as educators becomes a deep form and specific form of freedom work. We are invited now to do everything we can to keep them in school, rather than being so creative with how we push them out.”
And the system does try to push them out, she said, whether it is suspending, expelling, or otherwise punishing them for their clothing or their hairstyles, or failing to see the “attitude” a young black girl displays as a cry for help.
“Overwhelmingly, the ’attitude’ was somebody who was paying attention to a condition that they find hurtful or harmful,” said Couvson. “They are expressing their dissent. Dissent should not be grounds for us to engage in punishment. It is an opportunity for us to think about how we bring young people into conversation.
“We often ignore their traumas. We think that young people are choosing to participate in behaviors rather than understanding their behaviors as in response to trauma. That's actually the time when we should bring them in closer rather than push them away. That is the hardest thing, because so many of our policies are rooted in fear.”
This bias, which is intrinsic within education and larger society, impacts young black girls as early as the age of 5, but peaks once they hit adolescence, Couvson explained. They are no longer viewed as children by many adults, and the abandonment of these children by society begins.
“Zero tolerance policies are rooted in fear, not love,” said Couvson. “School-based surveillance is rooted in fear, not love. Automatic suspensions are rooted in fear, not love. Taking the discretion away from educators who know young people and building out systems that don't provide them with an opportunity to respond to young people's critical needs is about fear and structure, not about love.
“Educators I talk to and work with do not want to push kids out. They believe in the promise of education. Somewhere along the way, the bureaucracy and infrastructure clouds the vision.
The solution, as Couvson sees it, is to respond to children’s needs, to draw them close when their misbehavior indicates a trauma is present in their lives, and to stop viewing them as adults, who need less nurturing and protection than a child.
“Young people emulate what they see,” said Couvson. “If they see love, they will understand that's a possibility. If they only see harsh punishment, that's what they recognize. And that's what they move out into the world.
“Pull them in closer. If you hear me say nothing else tonight, please hear that, because that is at the core of everything. Restorative approaches, decision-making tools that respond to childhood traumas … there are instruments that exist out in the world that all move us toward this.”
Ivy Tech Kokomo’s Doing the Dream banquet began in 2005 as a celebration of cultural diversity. More than 30,000 people have attended the event over the past 19 years. Ethan Heicher, chancellor of the Ivy Tech Kokomo campus, expressed his gratitude for Dr. Couvson’s participation in this year’s event.
“We are incredibly honored to have (her) with us this evening,” said Heicher. “We all have an important role to play in the future of our community. So please listen carefully this evening to Dr. Couvson’s call to action. As you listen, think of the ways that you can be part of that better future. That's why we're here.”
What a wonderful evening. Fantastic speaker with a message that was resonating. Thank you Ivy Tech for this.