Gilead House launches podcast
‘Take Your Hands off the Pause Button’ gives advice to families of addicts
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The Gilead House was founded to guide recovering addicts out of the criminal justice system and into a productive life. It has helped thousands of people, mostly women, on that journey over the past two decades. But what about the families?
According to Gilead House founder and director Reba Harris, the families of addicts often go overlooked as they cope with their loved ones’ addictions. Worse, they let the addiction get in the way of living their lives. To combat this, the Gilead House recently launched “Take Your Hands off the Pause Button,” a podcast designed to support those living with an addicted family member.
“It came from the number of people we have who call here and say, ‘I have a son or daughter who is addicted, and I don’t know how to handle it,’” said Harris. “We get calls from local business owners, too. People will go into the beauty shop, for instance, and they want to talk about their problems. But the hairdressers aren’t qualified to talk about it. They don’t know what to say.
“Or we hear people say, ‘I planned to go back to school, but my child is an addict.’ They have stopped their lives. They don’t go on vacations because they’re afraid of what their adult children will do while they’re gone. Will they break into a home? Will something happen to them? They put their lives on pause, and because of it they don’t feel the drive to go out and do great things in life.”
Harris hopes the podcast will provide some answers. Initial episodes have dealt with enabling, empowerment, self-care, and coping with grief. In these episodes and in upcoming installments, Gilead House will feature peer coaches, drug and alcohol therapists, case managers, physicians, life skills coaches, and even residents in recovery who want to share their stories and advice on how to move forward.
“We want them to understand that enabling just keeps people sick,” said Harris. “Enabling is doing things for people that they ought to be doing for themselves. The fear that comes with it is, ‘If I don’t help, what will happen? Will they die?’ That’s always a possibility, but enabling doesn’t help. Well-meaning people try to help, but it just gets manipulated.
“Right now, we’re talking about empowerments. We talk about making sure the addict has resources that will help, but we’re also talking about how to empower the parents and families of the addict. We want to show them how they can move on and not hold onto guilt.”
Harris explained that addiction comes with a stigma. There can be a perception that having a child who becomes addicted somehow is a failure of the family. That kind of thinking can lead to emotional turmoil that causes people to stop living their lives.
“People can be embarrassed to talk about their child who is an addict,” said Harris. “They are ashamed to talk to people about it. Sometimes they know they contribute to it. They feel like it’s their fault. And the depression that comes with it can be very heavy.
“We’re talking about changes that could be made in the family to improve things. I think a lot more families ought to seek help. I went for help for three years because there were a lot of things going on in our family. There are people out there who work in this field who have information to share that can make all the difference in the world.”
Like everything else in the field of addiction recovery, the Gilead House podcast can only provide information and opportunity for improvement. It is up to the listener to make the change, Harris said.
“We’re just farmers,” said Harris. “We sow seeds. The farmer doesn’t throw seeds out of the bag if he doesn’t think they will make it. And the farmer doesn’t stand over the seeds to see if they will grow. He plants the seed. Some grow. Some don’t. It’s up to the seed.”
“Take Your Hands off the Pause Button” can be found on Spotify, and it posts each Thursday on the Kokomo Lantern Facebook page and group. For more information about Gilead House, call 765-865-9427 or visit http://www.gileadhousekokomo.org.